I feel to share this piece,I read it often and always find inspiration in the little things I do,this' an encouragement to fellow youths still hustling out here.....
Everybody wants to be happy in life. We all want to live a perfect
life. We want that great job or a successful business. We want to be
married to Mr. Right or Mrs Perfect. We want to have great kids. We want
to have friends that stick by us come rain or shine. We want to be able
to have all the material things life has to offer and have all our
problems just disappear.
Everybody wishes for good life. It may
be at different levels. One person may define a good life one way and
another may describe it another way. For one person a good life may be
just having three meals a day and a roof over their head. For another it
may be having a huge mansion and a couple of million dollars in the
bank.
There are different levels and meanings to what a good life
is. But whatever you definition of it, there is perhaps one thing that
you may have in common with many other people. You might want that good
life stress free. You would like to have it without having to work so
hard or struggle so much for it. That is a normal human expectation.
Nobody likes to struggle through life.
Unfortunately, that is
also what may be stopping you from having that great life. The thought
of all that work, all that planning, overcoming hurdles and resistance
is enough to make a lot of people give up before they even start. It can
all seem too overwhelming, and for many it all just doesn’t seem be
worth it. It’s like being drained of energy just at the thought of
running a marathon. Before you are even at the starting line the thought
of all that running just scares you and tires you so much mentally you
just decide not to go for it. It’s just too hard.
One of my favourite books is titled “The Road Less Travelled” by M. Scott Peck. The first sentence in the book is:
“Life is difficult.”
Now, if you pick up a book and the first thing it tells you is “life
is difficult” you may just think “is this book going to get reassuring
and encouraging after such a start?
But, as Peck goes on to explain, once you accept that life is hard, it no longer becomes an issue that it’s difficult. He says:
“Once we know that life is difficult- once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult.”
In
life you will have difficulties getting anything you want. It is very
rare to get anything in life without some degree of effort. Only if you
win the lottery will you have everything without effort, and even then
you would have had to go out and buy the lottery ticket anyway so it’s
not free at all.
Life is hard – your boss will not always be the
nicest person in the world. Your job will have challenges that you did
not foresee. Your workmates will sometimes be a pain. You won’t always
get the salary and recognition that you want and deserve at work. Your
clients may not be the nicest people in the world.
Life is hard –
your kids won’t always be the ideal kids you want them to be. Your wife
or husband may not be as perfect as you thought they were when you
married them – in fact I can guarantee you they are not. Your home may
not be the ideal place you would want it to be. You may not the perfect
wife or husband that you once thought you were.
Life is hard –
running a business is not as easy as you thought it would be. No one is
lining up to bring money to your business, even though you are a really
nice person and your business has great products to offer.
I could go on and on with these examples, but the bottom line is that “Life is hard.”
I
don’t mean to say in all this that you don’t deserve a break. I am not
saying that you are not justified in thinking that you deserve more than
what you have gotten from life and the world to this point.
I am
not saying that you are not justified in feeling the way that you feel.
I know you have had it tough at times. I know that at times you feel
that it’s all very confusing and just too hard. I mean you have worked
very hard. You’ve done all that you possibly could in your life whether
it is at work or at home. But things just don’t seem to have worked out
as well as you had planned or hoped. It all just seems to have gone
wrong and you don’t know or understand how or why.
But that’s okay. It’s normal. That’s what being human is all about. That’s what life is all about. Life is hard. Accept that.
Once
you do, you will feel better about your circumstances. Then you won’t
think of your situation as anything but what is common to every human
being. Then you will think of your situation as a part of life. You will
no longer beat yourself up about how bad things are or how you are not
doing so well in one area or another. You will realise that you are only
human. You make mistakes just like everybody else. You are not perfect
just like everybody else.
But don’t stop there. Accepting that life is hard does not mean that you accept every circumstance and simply go with the flow.
You
see, there are two sides to this story. There is another side to this
coin. On the one side of the coin is where you have the words “life is
hard” inscribed, but if you turn that coin over you will five very small
but powerful words. They read:
“You can make it better”
That is one of the beautiful things about life. You can make your
life better. You have total responsibility for what you do and how you
respond to the fact that life is hard. As the now cliché saying goes:
“If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”
Accepting
that life is hard comes with accepting that you have the responsibility
to make it better. Not only do you have the responsibility to make it
better, you have the ability and the power to make it better.
You
can make it better – become a better employee and someone worth giving
more responsibilities at work. The promotions and the better pay are
sure to follow one way or another.
You can make it better – learn
how to raise better kids and have a happier home. Become the good
husband or wife you would like your spouse to be.
You can make it better – learn how to turn that business around. Gain the extra skills you need to run a successful business.
You
see, the only person you have any control over is yourself. You cannot
change other people. Let’s take the example of marriage for moment.
Notice that I did not say you should turn your husband or spouse into an
ideal spouse. I said you should become the ideal husband or wife you
want your spouse to be. Then, once you become such a person you may have
several choices as to how to relate to your spouse.
Firstly,
once you are as near perfect a spouse as anyone can be your husband or
wife might see the difference and also decide to change for the better
or they may just change naturally as a response to your new attitude.
Secondly, if they don’t change, perhaps you will have reached a level of
maturity where you are content and satisfied with who they are and
their faults no longer bother you. Or thirdly, in some cases, such as in
abusive relationships or in relationships that are a risk to your
health, you may reach a level of self acceptance and courage where you
are able to leave that abusive or unfaithful partner.
Whatever
the case may be, this example illustrates one other important fact about
teh fact that life is hard and taking responsibility. That is:
“You always have choices”
No matter what situation you are in, you have a choice. No matter how
bad things are, you have a choice. No matter what you think you can or
cannot do, you have a choice.
Now it may not be an easy choice,
by any means. It may be a very difficult choice and the road you decide
to take may be a tough one. It may push you way out of your comfort
zone. It may mean that in the initial period your life may get even
harder than it already is. But it is a choice nonetheless.
A lot
of times you will actually find that the choices are not as hard as you
thought they were. You may just have shut off your mind from seeing
those choices and possibilities because you thought you had no choice.
Once you become open to the idea that you are responsible for your life
and that you have choices, you will find that you are no longer stuck
just because life is hard.
At that point, life is still hard, but you have the final say. Your life becomes more meaningful and purposeful.
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